McDonald Ad Summary, Paraphrase, and Quote

Paraphrase:

The Veggieburger McDonalds ad specifically targets meat loving audiences, based on the German language it is written in. Additionally the words “Jetzt neu: Der Veggieburger” conveyed two messages. First the words “Jetzt neu” mean “Now the New” implies renewed opportunity for a healthy lifestyle. Second, “Der Veggieburger.” tell the audience that McDonald's Veggieburger is the only Veggieburger worth buying.

Summary:

The Veggieburger McDonalds ad focuses on promoting a new and healthier lifestyle for Germans.

Quote:

“Jetzt neu: Der Veggieburger.”

Summary, Paraphrase, and Quote.

Summary: Melissa Rubin acknowledges every piece of a Coca-Cola ad in the 1950's, she observes how an artist can display so many words in a single image, she responds to every piece of artwork and notes its meaning.

Paraphrase: Advertisements are amazing, one image can contain so much information that it can change the way someone thinks and make them do something. Melissa Rubin states in her article that advertisements can contain everything related to a certain time period. Every piece of the image has a meaning, in the ad she analyzes she reports to us how the artist portrayed, racial discrimination, patriotism, the working class, what the ideal American was, and what America looked like in the time. Its amazing to see how far people can analyze an image and persuade an individual to purchase a product.

Quote: In Melissa Rubin's article about advertisements she goes into great detail about their purpose she states, "Advertisements are written to persuade us - to make us want to support a certain cause, buy a particular car, drink a specific kind of soda. But how do they do it?". (Rubin 176)

Animal Cruelty Ads Assignments

     1.   PETA, Mercy for animals, and Freedom For Animals

2    2. The pig ad is intended for shoppers who purchase their pork from Walmart to convince people to buy their meat elsewhere. The hair product ad is targeted towards women to influence them to purchase cruelty-free products. 

      3. The PETA ad targets upper class fur- wearers to emphasize the abuse animals went through so that people could wear the fur. All three of these ads make the buyers feel guilty about what they’re buying and enlightens them to abuse that animals go through.

3 4.  There are derogatory slogans written on all three of the ads to hook people’s attention, and also provides facts about animal cruelty.

4 5.    The purpose of this text is to bring attention to animal cruelty and relate it to everyday things that people buy, that they aren’t aware are related to animal cruelty. The images are snippets of the cruelty that animals go through. The creators are anti-animal cruelty, and are trying to influence people to stop buying products that support animal cruelty.

5    

        6. They seem to be working towards their purpose by also targeting women in all three ads. The hair ad appeals to women because that’s who would be buying the product, the Walmart ad would most likely target women as well because women typically do grocery shopping for the household, and the fur ad appeals to women because women are more likely to wear fur than men. The creators want to stop animal cruelty.

6    

     7. The Walmart ad represents evidence that we used to support our answers through the picture of the pig behind bars; signifying the unfair lifestyle the pig goes through in its short life. The hair product ad at first comes across as a typical beauty ad, except for the skin abscess on the side of her face and the slogan written underneath the picture. The fur ad provides evidence linking compassion towards the animal to how wrong wearing fur is because most people wouldn’t harm their own animals for fur, so why should other animals suffer?

8. Collectively, the ads ads promote vegan-ism/vegetarianism while aiding the fight against animal cruelty by exposing facts to the public. 

Summary on Rubin's Article

Rubin's article about the Coca-Cola Ad really gives the reader a great understanding of how thoroughly people can analyze an ad. I used to just look at an ad and be like 'eh that's okay.' or 'eh that looks really good.' But now after reading how she goes into every single detail of the image and how the smallest detail can have a huge impact on the entire image and what its trying to say. She gives us amazing analyses of the Coca-Cola Ad, she tell us everything from how the Ad comes across to the reader than later explaining what the Ad said about the time period. She tells us about racial issues and how Americans used ads to help encourage people to become the perfect American. The way she talks about how every person in the Ad contributed greatly to the image really opened my eyes and made me want to analyze Ads more entirely instead of just gazing over it.

Questions 181

1.Through Rubin's analysis she explains that Coca-Cola's presence it  has in the soft drink market is due to the popular appeal it gained during the war times. She talks a lot about racial themes were used throughout Coca-Cola's early advertisements and how Coca-Cola tried to display the American life as ideal in its ads to encourage foreigners into drinking it in hopes of becoming more American-like she gave a specific example when she says that only the popular African Americans were depicted in the ads later on. 

2. Historical context is included in her numerous quotes and the full page ad. She also gives her own opinion of the blue collar american and their labor unions and how they tied to Coca-Colas development also help to give context. These small details help the reader gain a better understanding though tout the narrative. 

3. Other questions that can be answered through ad analyses are: Who were the most popular consumers of the time period, what was the ideal lifestyle of the time, what advertising techniques were effective against people of the time period? What the average cost was and how much it was relative to everything else in the time period. 

4. Any Ad related to the the clothing industry today shows what is required to be cool now a days, for example I went to American Eagle the other to purchase a pair of jeans and I noticed the ads, all of the people displayed were extremely pretty girls or very handsome men. They were trying to depict the perfect person that could wear any style. Just from their style you could tell if they came from a wealthy family or a poor family. 

InClass Lab 10/20

Group Portion:
Think about other people’s writing as well as your own while writing an analysis. Use and point out specific details that support your thoughts.It's important to focus on the argument and stick to a clear point to relate to the audience. One way to approach writing an analysis is to back up your statements, same characteristics as writing a narrative. The author should make a clear thesis and support it throughout the analysis with multiple resources mentioned to back it up.

Individual Portion:
The paper Stay as Sweet as You Are fits the criteria of an analysis paper because she focuses on one audience that is mainly directed towards women. He constantly bringing forth the fact that the appearance of a woman is not the ultimate tool. He stays very focused throughout the entire article , his stance is very clear, it is that these advertisements would falsely motivate women into thinking that their appearance was the only thing that mattered to attract a man. Another point that he brought up I don't know if it was directly but it seemed to me that he used 3 examples from 3 different generations on purpose to clearly show to the reader that these kinds of advertisements have not changed and are still today making women feel obligated to look amazing to attract a man. His design was clever, he integrated images that were actual advertisements about his topic and he expanded on each of the images. His purpose was to prove that the popular belief that looking beautiful is the key to matrimonial success and the ability to attract men with your appearance is the ultimate tool is wrong and is his main idea and he does a great job explaining his points. He has plenty of evidence specifically the images of the advertisements from Resinol, Lux, and Listerine.

Questions for Final Draft

1.      What was your main point (thesis)?  “The Moral of the Story”?

The main point of my Story is to never take life for granted. That everyday is a gift, one moment you may be having an excellent day with your friends then the next you could wake up in a hospital bed. 

2.      Who was your audience?  What did you assume about them?  What “audience needs” did you have to consider in writing the paper?  How did you tailor your writing to them?

My audience was a curious reader and to people of my own age who have experienced loss or hardship. This was meant to hit readers who had lost hope on someone but this story is supposed to renew that hope they once had.

3.      What feedback or reactions did you get at various times while composing this paper, and how was this helpful?  What other kinds of input or support did you get from classmates, teacher, tutors, others?  Were you able to make use of it?  How, or why not?

I got a lot of feedback mainly from friends and family, my family corrected me on accuracy and my friends corrected me on grammatical error and simple mistakes. I was able to use every edit someone made on my paper to create an even better version. 

4.      What did you find interesting about the process you went through in writing this paper, and what did you learn from it?

I found that it got more powerful to me to write this story because my brothers accident was the biggest hump on the road i've ever had, and to write about it to many people just made it mean so much more to me. I've learned more about his accident honestly, when he was in the hospital I didn't want to know the details so I got educated on the hard facts that happened.

5.      What questions do you have for me about the paper?  (What part(s) of the paper would you like me to focus on?  What do you see as the paper’s strengths, and what areas are you unsure of?)

I have never been good at writing papers, since middle school English has always been my hardest class. I would like you to focus just on the quality of the paper and my ability to follow directions and make a narrative. I think my strengths would be my word choice and what I was unsure of most often was what Point of View I should have in certain parts. 

Questions PG. 175

 1. Heather Hravirlesky's main point is about the ever evolving American Dream. She specifically points it out on PG. 170 Second Paragraph and states that the "American Dream and expanded into something far broader.". Also on PG. 174 she states that the American Dream has turned into  people wanting to be heroes, "have beautiful wives, live in style among adorable, adoring children.

2. She first starts off her essay with a cutting sentence that makes the reader think. "Americans are constantly in search of an upgrade.". Throughout her essay she relates her topic to the TV Shoe Mad Men,  she continues to display thorough knowledge of the show and relates it to real scenarios.

3. I think that the 4th paragraph on page 172 she appeals to the readers emotions. she compares a woman to a stereotype and does an excellent job.

4. I have never heard of nor see the show Mad Men, but now with Mrs. Hravirlesky's excellent summary of the show she helps me understand what it is basically about in its simplest form. And yes she does make me want to see the show now.

5. The question that guides her is 'is the American Dream' evolving or not. She offers insight on the show Mad Men and relates it to what the American Dream used to be and how the show depicts it now. She uses specific examples from the t.v. show to support her conclusions.

Final Draft Narrative

Joshua Rentz

ENGL 101 - 5:30

Dr. Sonia Begert

10/20/15

And So it Began

Voooshhh. The snowflakes clawed at his face, the wind clouded his sight, the night sky brought peace. And so it began. This was the instant before he caught a glimpse of death. This was the instant before the near death incident. They say in the instances before death you see your life flash before your eyes. But no one actually believes it until they experience it themselves. And you don’t realize how much family matters to you until you lose it.

He sits in his chair, with his gaze afar. The terrors of guilt, anger, and frustration pull at his gut. His heart is cold. The menacing clouds squeeze out rain droplets the size of marbles, wind gushes in and out of the yard, with each gush new leaves and objects come in and then seconds later disappear and it happens repeatedly. He jerks his attention inside. The beige walls stare at him with eeriness. Pictures from his childhood hang on the wall, he sees his youngest brother in all of them and wonders will he be in the future. He scrolls through his email, when he finds the email he was looking for he quickly reacts. Eager to see what it contains he clicks on the link, brings his chair forward, and reads through it frantically. It’s exactly what he wants, he has gotten a response from an organization that could directly help his brother and his family. His heart rate increases and the blood begins to flow through his body, this email gave him hope. The Love Your Brain Foundation has formally asked him to create a story that explained what happened to his brother so they could see how they would be able to assist them. The last line struck him “we need to know about your brother.” Excitement flows through his body he gets up out of his chair and walks briskly over to his sister and other brother. “They responded.” he says, “And what did they say?” his sister asks. “They want me to write a story explaining everything that has happened, they want to help us!” he exclaims. “Well you better get on that man, we don’t got time to waste.” says his other brother. He slides over to his computer desk, boots up Pandora, plugs his earphones in, and gets to work. ‘They need to know about my brother.’

They left school early Friday the 27th of February and were headed to Steven’s Pass Ski Resort. Josh and his 2 friends sat in the back, Eli and Daniel his brothers sat in the middle seats along with Daniel's friend Aiden. Up front sat their Dad. They had picked up some pizza and were gobbling it up. Eager to get skiing and snowboarding they all got their snow gear on in the car. It was turning out to be a phenomenal day, 36 degrees and sunny, you could not have asked for any better ski conditions than that. They arrived at the resort and bolted for the ticket booth. “Can we get 7 all day ski passes please?!” said Aiden. We forked over our cash and snagged our tickets quickly, we clipped into our boards and skis and took off. As we took off down towards the closet lift we agreed to meet at the car at 10 p.m. Daniel and Aiden went up first. They were the most experienced of the group. They had gone down the mountain about 30 times the entire day. As the sun began to set the crowds of people began to bail out and head home. Snow began to fall, winds started to accelerate, and the night sky brought peace over the mountain. And so it began. He took off from a snow bank the snowflakes clawed at his face, the wind clouded his sight, and then there it was an element that would alter his life and the ones around him forever. A frozen over stream sat in between him and where he had to go, he thought that his elevation would give him an advantage and he would be able to cross with his friend but it was too late. The darkness had come.

Josh and his two friends were next up the ski lift. From their seat they could see Daniel and his buddy snickering away. The guys all started adjusting their equipment on the chair lift. They tightened their boots, pulled together their bindings, wiped clean their goggles, and finally slipped on their gloves and sealed them off. The chair had finally reached the top of the mountain. Josh and his best friends slid off the chair and scooted over to a clearing where they could make their final adjustments before the long day of skiing and snowboarding. “Alright boys let’s shred!” “Woooohhhh!” they all yelled. And they were off. The sun began to set and the mountain was theirs. Snow began to fall, winds started to accelerate, and the night sky brought peace over the mountain. And so it began. They took off from the peak snowflakes clawed at their faces, the wind clouded their sight, and as they cruised down the mountain they saw a frozen over stream. Next to the stream sat two ski patrol officers and two kids one lying on the floor and one kneeling next to him. They continued down the mountain unaware that that was his brother and friend.

The clock ticked closer and closer to ten o'clock. But once they reached the bottom of the mountain Josh couldn't find his phone. His friends suggested to check the lost and found, they plowed their way through the snow towards the lost and found. The lady was just closing up shop, Josh tapped on the window lightly careful to not startle the old lady. She looked up and smiled, she slid open the window and asked “How can I help you lads?”. Josh responded “Hi ma’am sorry to bother you but I seem to have lost my phone up on the mountain, has anyone dropped off a small white phone?” She said “Let me check here hun, what’s your name?”, “The names Josh Rentz”, “Okay let's see what this comes up with.” she stated. “Umm would you happen to have a brother Josh?” she asked, “Yea I got two younger brothers, Eli and Daniel. Why?” he said. “Come with me now, we don’t have your phone and your brother is seriously hurt!” she said tears rolling down the sides of her cheeks. Josh and his friends noticed the tears and knew it couldn't be good. And so it began. The darkness had come.

Daniel was being airlifted out of the area to seek immediate medical attention at Harborview Medical Center. They rushed over to Seattle which was a good 3 hours out of their way. Eli called their mother who was about an hour away to meet them there immediately. After many many hours of excruciating silence and the spooky sounds of the hospital, an official comes out and greets the family and friends. “Daniel has been scanned and is currently having more images developed. We have concluded from the images we have gathered that he has dislocated his left shoulder, fractured his nose, fractured the bones around his left eye, his brain has internal bleeding he was born with an  AVM which has exploded, he is bleeding in the middle of his brain and on the left side, along with that he has many blood clots throughout his brain. He is also in a coma and has lost all ability to move the entire left side of his body. I’m so sorry. We are doing everything we can.”. And so it began.

            Josh is back on his computer wrapping up the letter to the Foundation. He types hurriedly because the sooner he gets his message out the sooner they receive help. ‘He is now on his road to recovery, he is attending rigorous physical, speech, and occupational therapy.’ He then finishes it off, ‘I know I may not be somebody but my little brother is definitely somebody. He is an incredible 14 year old, he is one of the fastest freshman cross-country runners, an amazingly talented violinist, a very very smart A honor roll student, a sailor, a fitness freak, a great skier, a dedicated friend, and the most supportive, challenging, awesome, goofy little brother. If you could take some time and share my brothers story it would be immensely appreciated, he needs motivation and he needs stories he can relate to for he can see that he WILL be okay and WILL recover with determination and dedication. Thank you so much for your support and kindness’

“Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, sometimes in unexpected ways” - Rowling. Daniel has made a miraculous and amazing recovery, he can move his entire body, he is back in school, he is back sailing and has now learned how to play the guitar. He continues to prove others wrong and defy what people tell him. And so it began. The light had come. Appreciate what you have while you got it, because in an instant it can all be gone.

Unit 2 Lab 1

Joshua Rentz

Small Decisions                                                                                  Big Decisions

This Week: What time of the day will my 5 meals be. This was a pretty simple obstacle I just had to space out my meals so I was eating when I wasn’t hungry. What shoes to wear. This decided whether I got blister wearing the new shoes I got earlier this week or wearing shoes I had already broken in. What kind of clothes to wear each day. This decided whether I got wet on the way to my car and if I would be warm enough in my math class. What kind of lunch should I make. This just consisted of me dividing up the amount of protein, carbohydrates, fats, and vitamins I ate throughout the day.	When to get my license. This was crucial because my parents were not going to be home for the week so I had to drive myself to school and job interviews. What jobs I should apply for. This decided what I would expose myself to and help widen my interests so I can maybe find something I want to do for the rest of my life. Registering for Selective Service Act This was just a mandatory thing my dad made me do.
This Month: What my meals will consist of throughout the week. I had to prepare every Sunday what I would be cooking throughout the week. What to do for my birthday. I had to get my friends on the same page as me so we could do something fun for my birthday.	What kind of car will I purchase. This affected how much money I would be spending on my car, for example how much money I would be investing into gas, repairs, and insurance. What kind of doggie will I purchase. This affected how much money the dog would be needing. I would be spending money on grooming supplies, food, and leashes.
This Year: What type of training will I do throughout the year. This decided whether I would be bodybuilding for mass, training for definition, or just for strength. What room in the house I will sleep in. This was a minor decision I had to make in the beginning of the year, since I sleep on the floor I had to find a comfy spot.	Where I will go to college. This would determine where I would be going to college, how much money my parents would have to pay, whether I had to work this summer, whether I needed to apply for scholarships and financial aid. What I want to do when I grow up. This would guide me to choosing what college I wanted to go to and what types of jobs I should pursue in my near future. What job will I get for the summer. This would get me enough money to last me through the summer and buy all the things I needed for college. Also would help me explore different things to find a possible career choice I would go after in college.

2 consumer oriented websites that analyze something I’m interested in:  

Bodybuilding.com and Theartofmanliness.com

From the 2 of the websites they both display everything that I like, the bodybuilding website helps me every day I use it to find tips on a certain movement or exercise. The Art of Manliness page just provides me with entertaining things that ‘men’ do, such as outdoor activities, style tips, financial advice, straight edge razor shaving, and manly stories. If I go by my definition of useful which is the one that provides me with the most knowledge and advice that affects me on a daily basis, then I would say the bodybuilding website is more useful because I go the gym every day and exercise, and I don’t do manly things every day. The bodybuilding website sells supplements and workout gear, they provide real reviews from both male and female users of all ages right underneath each product and some of them even have photos and statistics of how useful the product actually was. Each of the photos and statistics are appealing to the eye using bright colors and easy to read graphs. The language is easy to read and is simple, gets straight to the point really quick instead of putting words in your head that are to scientific to comprehend, but they do provide the science stats at the bottom of the page. The consumers were reporting that they were very pleased with how helpful the website was to them and also their satisfaction with their purchases. The Manly Page has analysis of manly activities and items that consumers can buy such as outdoor equipment, clothing, and grooming supplies. People can comment their thoughts on a product or review the product as well. They aren’t so much interested in selling the product it seems but more into entertaining the audience with the stories. They are also very biased everything on the website is for men given the name so they can’t speak for the female population. I decided that the bodybuilding page was more useful. I would say to improve the other website I would create a simpler interface where it isn’t so complicated to get to a certain product or story. The bodybuilding page was very simple to use you just clicked on what you were looking for and there would be tons and tons of information on the specific thing you clicked on.  Also if the other website focused on selling their products instead of entertainment then it would be more useful.

Rough Draft #2 10/15/15

Joshua Rentz

ENGL 101 - 5:30

Dr. Sonia Begert

10/20/15

And So it Began

Voooshhh. The snowflakes clawed at his face, the wind clouded his sight, the night sky brought peace. And so it began. This was the instant before he caught a glimpse of death. This was the instant before the near death incident. They say in the instances before death you see your life flash before your eyes. But no actually believes it until they experience it themselves. And you don’t realize how much family matters to you till you lose it.

He sits in his chair, with his gaze afar. The terrors of guilt, anger, and frustration pull at his gut. His heart is cold. The menacing clouds squeeze out rain droplets the size of marbles, wind gushes in and out of the yard, with each gush new leaves and objects come in and then seconds later disappear and it happens repeatedly. He jerks his attention inside. The beige walls stare at him with eariness. Pictures from his childhood hang on the wall, he sees his youngest brother in all of them and wonders will he be in the future. He scrolls through his email, when he finds the email he was looking for he quickly reacts. Eager to see what it contains he clicks on the link, brings his chair forward, and reads through it frantically. It’s exactly what he wants, he has gotten a response from an organization that could directly help his brother and his family. His heart rate increases and the blood begins to flow through his body, this email gave him hope. The Love Your Brain Foundation has formally asked him to create a story that explained what happened to his brother so they could see how they would be able to assist them. The last line struck him “we need to know about your brother.” Excitement flows through his body he gets up out of his chair and walks briskly over to his sister and other brother. “They responded.” he says, “And what did they say?” his sister asks. “They want me to write a story explaining everything that has happened, they want to help us!” he exclaims. “Well you better get on that man, we don’t got time to waste.” says his other brother. He slides over to his computer desk, boots up Pandora, plugs his earphones in, and gets to work. They need to know about my brother.

They left school early friday the 27th of February and were headed to Steven’s Pass Ski Resort. Josh and his 2 friends sat in the back, Eli and Daniel his brothers sat in the middle seats along Daniel's friend Aiden. And then up front sat Daniel, Eli, and Josh’s Dad. They had picked up some pizza on the way to the resort and were chowing down on the road. Eager to get skiing and snowboarding they all got their snow gear on in the car. It was turning out to be a phenomenal day, 36 degrees and sunny, you can’t ask for any better ski conditions than that. They arrived at the resort and bolted for the ticket booth. “Can we get 7 all day ski passes please?!” said Aiden. We forked over our cash and snagged our tickets quickly, we clipped into our boards and skis and took off. As we took off down towards the closet lift we agreed to meet at the car at 10 p.m. Daniel and Aiden went up first. They were the most experienced of the group. They had gone down the mountain about 30 times the entire day. As the sun began to set the crowds of people began to bail out and head home. Snow began to fall, winds started to accelerate, and the night sky brought peace over the mountain. And so it began. He took off from a snow bank the snowflakes clawed at his face, the wind clouded his sight, and then there it was an element that would alter his life and the ones around him forever. A frozen over stream sat in between him and where he had to go, he thought that his elevation would give him an advantage and he would be able to cross with his friend but it was too late. The darkness had come.

Josh and his two friends were next up the ski lift. From their seat they could see Daniel and his buddy snickering away. The guys all started adjusting their equipment on the chair lift. They tighten their boots, pulled together their bindings, wiped clean their goggles, and finally slipped on their gloves and sealed them off. The chair had finally reached the top of the mountain. Josh and his best friends slid off the chair and scooted over to a clearing where they could make their final adjustments before the long day of skiing and snowboarding. “Alright boys let’s shred!” “Woooohhhh!” they all yelled. And they were off. The sun began to set and the mountain was theirs. Snow began to fall, winds started to accelerate, and the night sky brought peace over the mountain. And so it began. They took off from the peak snowflakes clawed at their faces, the wind clouded their sight, and as they cruised down the mountain they saw a frozen over stream. Next to the stream sat two ski patrol officers and two kids one lying on the floor and one kneeling next to him. They continued down the mountain unaware that that was his brother and friend.

The clock ticked closer and closer to ten o'clock. But once they reached the bottom of the mountain Josh couldn't find his phone. His friends suggested to check the lost and found, they plowed their way through the snow towards the lost and found. The lady was just closing up shop, Josh tapped on the window lightly careful to not startle the old lady. She looked up and smiled, she slid open the window and asked “How can I help you lads?”. Josh responded “Hi ma’am sorry to bother you but I seem to have lost my phone up on the mountain, has anyone dropped off a small white phone?” She said “Let me check here hun, what’s your name?”, “The names Josh Rentz”, “Okay let's see what this comes up with.” she stated. “Umm would you happen to have a brother Josh?” she asked, “Yea I got two younger brothers, Eli and Daniel. Why?” he said. “Come with me now, we don’t have your phone and your brother is seriously hurt!” she said tears rolling down the sides of her cheeks. Josh and his friends noticed the tears and knew it couldn't be good. And so it began. The darkness had come.

Daniel was being airlifted out of the area to seek immediate medical attention at Harborview Medical Center. They rush over to Seattle which was a good 3 hours out of their way. Eli calls their mother who was about an hour away to meet them there immediately. After many many hours of excruciating silence and the spooky sounds of the hospital. An official comes out and greets the family and friends. “Daniel has been scanned and is currently having more images developed. We have concluded from the images we have gathered that he has dislocated his left shoulder, fractured his nose, fractured the bones around his left eye, his brain has internal bleeding he was born with an  AVM which has exploded, he is bleeding in the middle of his brain and on the left side, along with that he has many blood clots throughout his brain. He is also in a coma and has lost all ability to move the entire left side of his body. I’m so sorry. We are doing everything we can.”. And so it began.

            Josh is back on his computer wrapping up the letter to the Foundation. He types hurriedly because the sooner he gets his message out the sooner they receive help. ‘He is now on his road to recovery, he is attending rigorous physical, speech, and occupational therapy.’ He then finishes it off, ‘I know I may not be somebody but my little brother is definitely somebody. He is an incredible 14 year old, he is one of the fastest freshman cross-country runners, an amazingly talented violinist, a very very smart A honor roll student, a sailor, a fitness freak, a great skier, a dedicated friend, and the most supportive, challenging, awesome, goofy little brother. If you could take some time and share my brothers story it would be immensely appreciated, he needs motivation and he needs stories he can relate to for he can see that he WILL be okay and WILL recover with determination and dedication. Thank you so much for your support and kindness’

“Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, sometimes in unexpected ways” - Rowling. Daniel has made a miraculous and amazing recovery, he can move his entire body, he is back in school, he is back sailing and has now learned how to play the guitar. He continues to prove others wrong and defy what people tell him. And so it began. The light had come. Appreciate what you have while you got it, because in an instant it can all be gone.

Rought Draft #1

Joshua Rentz

ENGL 101

And So it Began

Voooshhh. The snowflakes clawed at his face, the wind clouded his sight, the night sky brought peace. And so it began. This was the instant before he caught a glimpse of death. This was the instant before the near death incident. They say in the instances before death you see your life flash before your eyes. But no actually believes it until they experience it themselves.

He sits in his chair, with his gaze afar. The terrors of guilt, anger, and frustration pull at his gut. His heart is cold. The menacing clouds squeeze out rain droplets the size of marbles, wind gushes in and out of the yard, with each gush new leaves and objects come in and then seconds disappear and it happens over and over again. He jerks his attention inside. The beige walls stare at him with eariness. Pictures from his childhood hang on the wall, he sees his youngest brother in all of them and wonders will he be in the future. He scrolls through his email, when he finds the email he was looking for he quickly reacts. Eager to see what it contains he clicks on the link, brings his chair forward, and reads through it frantically. It’s exactly what he wanted, he had gotten a response from an organization that could directly help his brother and his family. His heart rate increased and the blood began to flow through his body, this email gave him hope. The Love Your Brain Foundation had formally asked him to create a story that explained what happened to his brother so they could see how they would be able to assist them. The last line struck him “we need to know about your brother.” Excitement flowed through his body he got up out of his chair and walked briskly over to his sister and other brother. “They responded.” he said, “And what did they say?” his sister asked. “They want me to write a story explaining everything that has happened, they want to help us!” he exclaimed. “Well you better get on that man, we don’t got time to waste.” said his other brother. He slides over to his computer desk, boots up Pandora, plugs his earphones in, and gets to work. They need to know about my brother.

They left school early friday the 27th of February and were headed to Steven’s Pass Ski Resort. Josh and his 2 friends sat in the back, Eli and Daniel his brothers sat in the middle seats along Daniel's friend Aiden. And then up front sat Daniel, Eli, and Josh’s Dad. They had picked up some pizza on the way to the resort and were chowing down on the road. Eager to get skiing and snowboarding they all got their snow gear on in the car. It was turning out to be a phenomenal day, 36 degrees and sunny, you can’t ask for any better ski conditions than that. They arrived at the resort and bolted for the ticket booth. “Can we get 7 all day ski passes please?!” said Aiden. We forked over our cash and snagged our tickets quickly, we clipped into our boards and skis and took off. As we took off down towards the closet lift we agreed to meet at the car at 10 p.m. Daniel and Aiden went up first. They were the most experienced of the group. They had gone down the mountain about 30 times the entire day. As the sun began to set the crowds of people began to bail out and head home. Snow began to fall, winds started to accelerate, and the night sky brought peace over the mountain. And so it began. He took off from a snow bank the snowflakes clawed at his face, the wind clouded his sight, and then there it was an element that would alter his life and the ones around him forever. A frozen over stream sat in between him and where he had to go, he thought that his elevation would give him an advantage and he would be able to cross with his friend but it was too late. The darkness had come.

Josh and his two friends were next up the ski lift. From their seat they could see Daniel and his buddy snickering away. The guys all started adjusting their equipment on the chair lift. They tighten their boots, pulled together their bindings, wiped clean their goggles, and finally slipped on their gloves and sealed them off. The chair had finally reached the top of the mountain. Josh and his best friends slid off the chair and scooted over to a clearing where they could make their final adjustments before the long day of skiing and snowboarding. “Alright boys let’s shred!” “Woooohhhh!” they all yelled. And they were off. The sun began to set and the mountain was theirs. Snow began to fall, winds started to accelerate, and the night sky brought peace over the mountain. And so it began. They took off from the peak snowflakes clawed at their faces, the wind clouded their sight, and as they cruised down the mountain they saw a frozen over stream next to the stream sat two ski patrol officers and two kids one lying on the floor and one kneeling next to him. They continued down the mountain unaware that that was his brother and friend. The clock ticked closer and closer to ten o'clock. But once they reached the bottom of the mountain Josh couldn't find his phone. His friends suggested to check the lost and found, they plowed their way through the snow towards the lost and found. The lady was just closing up shop, Josh tapped on the window lightly careful to not startle the old lady. She looked up and smiled, she slid open the window and asked “How can I help you lads?”. Josh responded “Hi ma’am sorry to bother you but I seem to have lost my phone up on the mountain, has anyone dropped off a small white phone?” She said “Let me check here hun, what’s your name?”, “The names Josh Rentz”, “Okay let's see what this comes up with.” she stated. “Umm would you happen to have a brother Josh?” she asked, “Yea I got two younger brothers, Eli and Daniel. Why?” he said. “Come with me now, we don’t have your phone and your brother is seriously hurt!” she said tears rolling down the sides of her cheeks. Josh and his friends noticed the tears and knew it couldn't be good. And so it began. The darkness had come.

Daniel was being airlifted out of the area to seek immediate medical attention at Harborview Medical Center. They rush over to Seattle which was a good 3 hours out of their way. Eli calls their mother who was about an hour away to meet them there immediately. After many many hours of excruciating silence and the spooky sounds of the hospital. An official comes out and greets the family and friends. “Daniel has been scanned and is currently having more images developed. We have concluded from the images we have gathered that he has dislocated his left shoulder, fractured his nose, fractured the bones around his left eye, his brain has internal bleeding he was born with an  AVM which has exploded, he is bleeding in the middle of his brain and on the left side, along with that he has many blood clots throughout his brain. He is also in a coma and has lost all ability to move the entire left side of his body. I’m so sorry. We are doing everything we can.”. And so it began.

Josh is back on his computer wrapping up the letter to the Foundation. He types hurriedly because the sooner he gets his message out the sooner they receive help. ‘He is now on his road to recovery, he is attending rigorous physical, speech, and occupational therapy.’ He then finishes it off, ‘I know I may not be somebody but my little brother is definitely somebody. He is an incredible 14 year old, he is one of the fastest freshman cross-country runners, an amazingly talented violinist, a very very smart A honor roll student, a sailor, a fitness freak, a great skier, a dedicated friend, and the most supportive, challenging, awesome, goofy little brother. If you could take some time and share my brothers story it would be immensely appreciated, he needs motivation and he needs stories he can relate to for he can see that he WILL be okay and WILL recover with determination and dedication. Thank you so much for your support and kindness’

“Things we lose have a way of coming back to us in the end, sometimes in unexpected ways” - Rowling. Daniel has made a miraculous and amazing recovery, he can move the his entire body, he is back in school, he is back sailing and has now learned how to play the guitar. He continues to prove others wrong and defy what people tell him. And so it began. The light had come.

Writer's Blog 5 features to my Topic

Narrative:

1. When? My narrative takes place in March of 2015, I am writing the story in the afternoon just before the sun is setting. The flashbacks are from a week before I am writing the story about my little brother.
2. Where? I will be writing the story about my brother in my house on Bainbridge Island, and the flashbacks that contribute to the story will be happening at Steven's Pass Ski Resort in the Cascade Mountains, near Snohomish and Leavenworth. There will also be a bit about Harborview Medical Center in Seattle, Washington.
3. What? I will try to be emphasizing that anything can happen in a moments notice and alter your future forever. Everything can be all rainbows and roses on instant and the next you find yourself in a hospital praying to God to bring back all the happiness you once had.
4. Who? I'm still deciding if its going to be a Third Person perspective or not. But if I do it in First Person it will be from my perspective describing the events that took place.
5. Why? This story matter because it teaches a lesson and brings some people to the realization that everything CAN change in a moment. Anything can happen, I know it's super cliche but it's so true. I would have never expected this to happen but it did. Live every moment with happiness. 

Mrs. Luken Essay Analysis

• The author starts of with stating what made her get to the place where she is today.
• At the end of the first paragraph she starts the chronological flow of her story, first by telling us about her childhood memories with her father on their bike rides, then about high school, later about college endeavors, and finally where she is now. 
• Lots of vivid language "I read vociferously, and I loved being told stories.", "My brothers, my dad and I would visit the library at least once a week, and more often in the summer when we were out of school.", " Some daughters inherit a certain amount of money from their fathers, some inherit a car or a house, others inherit jewelry. My father will never have much money or a nice car or many material goods at all. I have, however revived something from him that will last my while life and will continue to me joy as long as I live. He has passed on to me his love of language and literature."
• Focuses on criticism but always remembers her fathers advice, that she is an amazing author.
• Last paragraph ties it all together because she re-states the poem from the beginning.

In Class Lab 10/6

11.  “She couldn’t recall how long she waited alone in the water, holding onto a porch post and screaming for help.” Lydia’s Story (pg. 130 paragraph 3)

22. “The hall no windows; only fluorescent lighting illuminated the large space” Lydia’s Story  (pg. 128 paragraph 2)

33.  “Entering the large VFW hall, we were stick by the chemical odor of a cleaning solution so strong it seemed toxic” Lydia’s Story (pg. 128 paragraph 2)

44. Bodybuilding, little brothers traumatic brain injury, learning to write in Spanish.

55.  Purpose: I want to tell this story because, what happened to my little brother changed my life, it taught me many lessons and made me realize the importance of life. I want to write about this because I never want someone else to experience the pain my family and I faced while he was in the hospital.

66. Audience: Some of the readers might have had a similar experience either to the same or lesser degree. I would have to only do a brief background on what happened that day and what happened throughout his stay at Harborview Medical Center, maybe a little bit about the aftermath. Yes I can assume that they will feel the same way I did because it would be immoral if they didn’t.

77. Stance: I want to project a serious informative stance in the beginning and end but in the middle I was to project sadness and anger. I want the readers to be sympathetic, or should I say feel what I felt. I want my reader to see me as a normal guy but I want the readers to see my brother as a fighter and survivor.

88.  Media/Design: My narrative will be in print and on my blog. I can bring photographs of what it looked like.

99. What do you see? Computer Screen, khaki walls, pictures of my brothers and sister, out the window it’s raining and cloudy out the wind is blowing the trees, I got paper and my cell phone, I’m sitting on a black leather desk chair at a cherry wood desk.

110.  What do you hear? I hear the heater rumbling, wind rustling the trees and bushes, rain patting on the window and gutters.

111.   What do you smell? I smell nothing but a scented apple harvest candle in our house.

112.   How and what do you feel? I feel sorrow, sadness, anger, frustration, a little hot cause of heater being so hot, comfortable clothes, sticking to leather chair.

113.   I taste minty gum.

114.   Short with broad shoulders, dresses in preppy clothes from American Eagle, they speak with just a touch of a southern accent and a bit of southern lingo.

115.   Doctors at hospital assuring us that everything will be okay “From the look of these pictures of his brain it appears that he has an AVM which has triggered multiple blood vessels to burst and clot in his brain, but we are here to treat him with the best care and he will be okay we are currently searching for every possible solution that will do the least damage to him in the long one, he will need surgery, but we can assure you he will be in the hands of one of the best neurosurgeons in the world.” All of us talking to my little brother even though he was in a coma and was unresponsive to everything we said, “Your little brother is a fighter and he’s going to push through it”

116.  My name is Joshua Rentz and I'd like to tell you the story of my little brother Daniel's traumatic brain injury. My dad, friends, and brothers all went skiing on February 27th at Steven's Pass Ski Resort in Washington State. We left school early and got pizza and were all super pumped about the day.  It all was turning out to be an excellent day there were wonderful conditions, sunny and about 36 degrees. We got to the resort and split into our groups, me being a snowboarder went with my 2 best friends, then Daniel and his friend went together, then my father and other brother went together. We all agreed to meet at the car at 10:00 p.m. and then return the following morning. We set off and had an excellent day of skiing. On our last run of the day I had lost my phone, as I bolted down the mountain to see if anyone had returned a phone I passed by 2 kids, one was on top of the other telling them to wake up, I ignored the situation and continued to go down the mountain and find the lost and found. It took me a good 20 minutes to find someone to open up the lost and found to check and see if my phone was in there, as they entered my name into the computer they asked me if I had a little brother, I said yes is he okay? they replied come with me now, I followed them to the ski patrol medical office and told them to tell me what was going on, I was very frustrated and angry that they weren't telling me what was going on and I started yelling at them, they told me to calm down and sit. I didn't and they were very frustrated. My dad finally got to the medical office and they broke the news to us. "Your son Daniel is being sent to the Monroe Hospital, he took a hard fall and is currently unconscious and has swelling on his head." as soon as they told us what was going on I flipped out, at that moment I knew that the 2 kids on the mountain were my brother and his friend, I immediately regretted my decision to pass them, (last season I had dislocated my shoulder and was stuck on the mountain for 2 hours before someone stopped to help me and after that incident I had made it my duty to always ask people if they are okay and if they need help.) The one time I break my promise to myself it bites me in the ass. 10 minutes later they inform us to head to Harborview Medical Center because Daniel was being airlifted out of the area to seek immediate medical attention. We rush over to Seattle which was a good 2 hours out and we call our mother who was about an hour away to meet us there immediately. After many many hours of him being scanned and getting images done the doctors talk with my parents. Our parents inform us that my little brother had dislocated his left shoulder, fractured his nose, fractured his left eye, has a brain AVM, has bleeding in the middle of his brain and on the left side, and has many blood clots in his brain. They then had his friend come in and describe what had happened, he was the only one who knew because he was the only one with him, he said they were going to try and cross a creek so his friend went first and then Daniel but his friend wasn't watching him and the next time he turned around Daniel was face first in the snow. The doctors are still trying to find out whether he had blacked out before the fall or if the fall triggered the brain to shut down. He was unable to breathe by himself for 4 days and had all these tubes and chords attached to his body, he looked more machine then human.  But 3 days into the hospital he had brain surgery to remove the clots and the AVM. He still has some minor clots in his brain but they will disintegrate over time. Unfortunately my little brother can not move the left side of his body and can't talk. He is being transferred to Seattle Children's Hospital on Monday and will start his road to recovery there. 

117.  I know I may not be somebody but my little brother is definitely somebody. He is an incredible 14 year old, he is one of the fastest freshman cross-country runners, an amazingly talented violinist, an very very smart A honor roll student, a sailor,  a fitness freak, a great skier,  a dedicated friend, and the most supportive, challenging, awesome, goofy little brother. If you could take some time and share my brothers story it would be immensely appreciated, he needs motivation and he needs stories he can relate to for he can see that he WILL be okay and WILL recover with determination and dedication. And Kevin Pearce's Story is an excellent example that would fuel him to want to recover. 

Also my family and his friends need support to find out what we can do to help Daniel out and ensure him a speedy recovery. Seeing that Kevin had such a supportive family I would like to know what his family did for him and how it helped him.

Thank you for your time and please share my brothers story to Kevin and/or people that can help us out, and teach us how to be supportive and to teach him that he WILL recover and be a better version of himself when it is all over.

Thanks Again,

Joshua Rentz

Did my Definition Change?

From reading my peers blog posts I was able to see many examples that I had not thought about. These examples that my classmate talked about made me realize the rhetoric they used in their speeches, essays, or articles. But it did not change my definition of Rhetoric, our definitions were very similar, we all said that you basically have to put yourself in another persons shoes and think about what they would want to hear to satisfy their audience.

Thinking and Acting Rhetorically

What is my definition of rhetoric? In my own words the definition of rhetoric means is using writing techniques, language, and structure as a tool to make a topic seem more appealing or to persuade an audience. What is the definition of 'thinking and acting rhetorically'? Thinking and acting rhetorically means to put yourself in the shoes of the audience and realize whats important to them, what they want to hear, and what captures their attention, then use the information about the audience to bring a point across to the audience you were observing. You have to do this for ever job because you are always trying to make yourself look more appealing to the world, in return demand goes up, and so does your profit. The world is full of Rhetorical Thinkers trying to beat the competition next to them. As the world progresses so does the process of thinking rhetorically, it might not be changing dramatically but every now and then there is a new tool or technique that someone has found out that captivates a persons mind.  As Susan Miller said 'To act and think rhetorically you need to understand how language works', Once you understand how language works then you work hard to understand how to convey your ideas through writing. 

Rhetorical Situations - Narratives

• In church I was told the story of Cain and Abel. This story has a moral or a life lesson that was communicated by telling a story instead of just saying it flat out.
• I read an article about one of my favorite bodybuilders who decided to opt out of the 2015 Mr. Olympia Challenge. This was shocking to people that follow bodybuilding because he has been  #2 for the past couple of years and people were sure he would be granted the name of Mr. Olympia this year. This story explained his emotional issues to his supporters and helped his supporters realize what he was going through, through his eyes.
• Told my old sailing captain about my future plans
• My old sailing captain told me about how enduring through hardships is something to be proud of. He also told me about how his year was going so far and his future plans at Dartmouth University. 
• My friend who lives in Idaho told me what to expect at a concert in Boise because he just went to one and I'm going to see one in a few weeks with him. 

Blog Response Homework Comparison

Differences: Bethany’s blog was the most organized and detailed with multiple paragraphs

Similarities: Word choice similar for questions, similar main points, same quote used

Connections between Chapter 2 and Lydia’s story

 The author applies instinctive rhetorical devices such as a specific urgent tone and kept audience general and related multiple points. The author’s purpose was to inspire others to keep hope and determination up by showing Lydia’s story as an example. Chapter 2 helped Bethany think about what she’s going to say. Chapter 2 helped Lizzie to evaluate the audience before writing something to convey her thoughts clearly. Tex-ting and E-mail are the two most significant ways to apply rhetorical devices because you can take into account the audience. Writing essays will be an influenced writing perspective as well because now we understand how to choose a design, tone and objective clearly.

Think About It

Combination of personal narratives being told and seeing stories on the news. We realized how common narratives are and how they influence us to make better decisions. The more descriptive the narrative, the stronger the point comes across.

Think Beyond Words

The videos were mostly about people coming out, and people’s rights. They were powerful because they were individuals explaining their experiences and how to get help. These people represented their emotions and by doing so, their objective was to inform through the design and medium of a video.

Compare Narratives

Josh read an article about bodybuilding, Bethany told her coach she couldn't swim and why. The article about bodybuilding was directed at bodybuilders since it was in the magazine and changing the medium to a video for instance, may have more effects on more people as it is easier to physically show and share. When Bethany told her coach why she couldn't swim, the medium she chose was the most effective way to present her issue clearly.